Post by Admin on Jul 28, 2020 14:19:24 GMT
An Introduction to Connecting your Adult Self and your Inner Child.
Adult and child work are the sum of everything you have ever been. Because of this, your blended together into one energy called YOU. When we do this work we dissect the different parts of who we are, explore them, introduce them to each other and define their roles in our lives. This makes you fully aware of all the different parts of who you are to allow you to become whole, healthy in your mind, body and spirit to become empowered and happy. This gets to the issues of of carrying fear, separation, jealousy, anxiety, addiction or loss. By doing this work we can explore the who, what, where and when that first hurt us. Acknowledge the hurt, heal the wound.
No adult, regardless of how awful they are decides to have children only to hurt them and make them miserable. If you are a parent you know that you are doing your best that you can do. We intend to do all the right things but often end up parenting from our inner child as our parents and their parents did. That doesn’t make whatever they did right or ok, but it was the best they could do at that time.
Each one of us has experienced this separation in our lifetimes. Its more extreme for others depending on if there was trauma or abuse associated with the wound. Inside are the wounds our “little me” still carries around. That “little me” developed coping mechanisms that were good for you at the time but no longer serve you as an adult. Its important now that we are adults, that we learn new coping skills and appropriate coping tools.
It happens for everyone at different times. Separation is between 3 and 4 years old. For others, it may have been when trauma or abuse first happened. For others still, it might be 6 or 7 years old. The age is not as important as acknowledging that at first we felt separated, scared, lonely, isolated, and not validated in the world we knew of as safe. We know that we don't have a conscious memory of everything that has ever happened to us, yet everything is stored in our unconscious memory, which is where the inner child lives. That is the part we are going to connect with. By paying attention to yourself, being in the moment, and practicing awareness. Be aware of how you're reacting. Ask yourself honest questions like, "Where is this coming from?" "Is this mine?" And "Why do I feel this way?"
It's not that hard. It's learning what questions to ask and when to ask them. It's also about staying in the moment, understanding triggers, setting boundaries, and accepting and forgiving old behaviours. The adult is the part of you that is responsible, grounded, and clear. Your adult takes responsibility, steps up to the plate, and knows no fear. It's the part of you that needs to reassure and work with your child. The child part of you is the innocent, joyful, creative, and wonderful part of your being that brings laughter and joy to yourself and others. That part of you is unconditional and loving. It's also the part of you that gets fearful, can feel unsafe, and needs validation. The adult is more grounded, less reactive, self-assured, responsible, connected, strong, brave, and mature in their dealings. The child is emotional, reactive, driven more by ego, knows fear, has a need to be seen, does not always feel safe, feels flight or fight, wants to be liked, is a pleaser and feels they're not being heard or seen, and thrives for validation. The child should be joyous, free, more playful, fun, creative, and unconditional. Listen, pay attention, hold space, play with them, validate them, make them feel safe, encourage child activities, and do not expect them to do the work of an adult.
Personally it will allow for more intimate connections. It will help you to not react out of emotion, giving you more clarity and less drama in your relationships. It will help you create better boundaries and will allow you stop being a pleaser. It will help you get to know yourself in ways you never knew about, resulting in self-love and healing. This will help you feel more confident in your career. With more confidence you will make better work decisions, won't allow co-workers to get "under your skin," choose your battles, clearly state your positions, communicate more clearly, and connect deeper with others for more. When you feel lonely, angry, depressed, anxious, resentful, passive aggressive, react from ego not love, disconnected, irritated, and confused, your adult is feeling disconnected. You will feel scared, lonely, anxious, sad, unsure, not safe, unprotected, not playful, not creative, too focused, disappointed, and stressed. You may not be as productive and loving as you know you can be. You most likely will have difficult relationships with family members or issues with your co-workers. You may have a hard time making and keeping friends. You may find it hard to hold on, move forward, and be forgiving, and you may hold on to resentments. Your adult can help your inner child by talking to them, listen to them, see them, validate their feelings, give them hugs, kisses, nurturing, companionship, friendship, don't make them do the work of your adult because your adult is not being aware and present. Help them understand it's not their fault. Teach them new coping skills and ways to communicate and help them understand their role and your role.
Homework for this week is to make a journal. We shall call it the “Bridge Book” This book will be your connection to your inner child. Get out your art supplies, design a cover, use pictures from magazines. Its your personal book so do what you like with it. NO right. NO wrong. Just FUN. Just YOU!
Here are some questions for you to think about.
1. How can this help me better connect with other people?
2. How can it strengthen my relationships with others?
3. How do I use this relationship to become more powerful?
4. How do I use it to set boundaries?
5. How can I be more forgiving of others with this information?
6. Do I have triggers?
7. How well do I know myself?
8. How am I going to unite them?
9. Where does this all stem from for me?
10. How much am I willing to look at?
11. Why does my child need healing?
12. Why did my adult forget about my child?
13. How does my child feel that she/he was forgotten about?
14. What part of me is hurt?
15. Who am I missing in my life right now?
16. What was the best time of my life?
17. What makes me sad?
18. Why is my child sad?
19. What makes my child happy?
20. Why is my child angry?
Adult and child work are the sum of everything you have ever been. Because of this, your blended together into one energy called YOU. When we do this work we dissect the different parts of who we are, explore them, introduce them to each other and define their roles in our lives. This makes you fully aware of all the different parts of who you are to allow you to become whole, healthy in your mind, body and spirit to become empowered and happy. This gets to the issues of of carrying fear, separation, jealousy, anxiety, addiction or loss. By doing this work we can explore the who, what, where and when that first hurt us. Acknowledge the hurt, heal the wound.
No adult, regardless of how awful they are decides to have children only to hurt them and make them miserable. If you are a parent you know that you are doing your best that you can do. We intend to do all the right things but often end up parenting from our inner child as our parents and their parents did. That doesn’t make whatever they did right or ok, but it was the best they could do at that time.
Each one of us has experienced this separation in our lifetimes. Its more extreme for others depending on if there was trauma or abuse associated with the wound. Inside are the wounds our “little me” still carries around. That “little me” developed coping mechanisms that were good for you at the time but no longer serve you as an adult. Its important now that we are adults, that we learn new coping skills and appropriate coping tools.
It happens for everyone at different times. Separation is between 3 and 4 years old. For others, it may have been when trauma or abuse first happened. For others still, it might be 6 or 7 years old. The age is not as important as acknowledging that at first we felt separated, scared, lonely, isolated, and not validated in the world we knew of as safe. We know that we don't have a conscious memory of everything that has ever happened to us, yet everything is stored in our unconscious memory, which is where the inner child lives. That is the part we are going to connect with. By paying attention to yourself, being in the moment, and practicing awareness. Be aware of how you're reacting. Ask yourself honest questions like, "Where is this coming from?" "Is this mine?" And "Why do I feel this way?"
It's not that hard. It's learning what questions to ask and when to ask them. It's also about staying in the moment, understanding triggers, setting boundaries, and accepting and forgiving old behaviours. The adult is the part of you that is responsible, grounded, and clear. Your adult takes responsibility, steps up to the plate, and knows no fear. It's the part of you that needs to reassure and work with your child. The child part of you is the innocent, joyful, creative, and wonderful part of your being that brings laughter and joy to yourself and others. That part of you is unconditional and loving. It's also the part of you that gets fearful, can feel unsafe, and needs validation. The adult is more grounded, less reactive, self-assured, responsible, connected, strong, brave, and mature in their dealings. The child is emotional, reactive, driven more by ego, knows fear, has a need to be seen, does not always feel safe, feels flight or fight, wants to be liked, is a pleaser and feels they're not being heard or seen, and thrives for validation. The child should be joyous, free, more playful, fun, creative, and unconditional. Listen, pay attention, hold space, play with them, validate them, make them feel safe, encourage child activities, and do not expect them to do the work of an adult.
Personally it will allow for more intimate connections. It will help you to not react out of emotion, giving you more clarity and less drama in your relationships. It will help you create better boundaries and will allow you stop being a pleaser. It will help you get to know yourself in ways you never knew about, resulting in self-love and healing. This will help you feel more confident in your career. With more confidence you will make better work decisions, won't allow co-workers to get "under your skin," choose your battles, clearly state your positions, communicate more clearly, and connect deeper with others for more. When you feel lonely, angry, depressed, anxious, resentful, passive aggressive, react from ego not love, disconnected, irritated, and confused, your adult is feeling disconnected. You will feel scared, lonely, anxious, sad, unsure, not safe, unprotected, not playful, not creative, too focused, disappointed, and stressed. You may not be as productive and loving as you know you can be. You most likely will have difficult relationships with family members or issues with your co-workers. You may have a hard time making and keeping friends. You may find it hard to hold on, move forward, and be forgiving, and you may hold on to resentments. Your adult can help your inner child by talking to them, listen to them, see them, validate their feelings, give them hugs, kisses, nurturing, companionship, friendship, don't make them do the work of your adult because your adult is not being aware and present. Help them understand it's not their fault. Teach them new coping skills and ways to communicate and help them understand their role and your role.
Homework for this week is to make a journal. We shall call it the “Bridge Book” This book will be your connection to your inner child. Get out your art supplies, design a cover, use pictures from magazines. Its your personal book so do what you like with it. NO right. NO wrong. Just FUN. Just YOU!
Here are some questions for you to think about.
1. How can this help me better connect with other people?
2. How can it strengthen my relationships with others?
3. How do I use this relationship to become more powerful?
4. How do I use it to set boundaries?
5. How can I be more forgiving of others with this information?
6. Do I have triggers?
7. How well do I know myself?
8. How am I going to unite them?
9. Where does this all stem from for me?
10. How much am I willing to look at?
11. Why does my child need healing?
12. Why did my adult forget about my child?
13. How does my child feel that she/he was forgotten about?
14. What part of me is hurt?
15. Who am I missing in my life right now?
16. What was the best time of my life?
17. What makes me sad?
18. Why is my child sad?
19. What makes my child happy?
20. Why is my child angry?
